Unbend, Remain Nermal

I like bartering. I´ve always enjoyed visiting flea markets to indulge in this moneywise proclivity. Recently, I acquired a nice watch in the La Bisbal d´Emporda flea market at a very nice price due to bartering. I picked my seller due to my belief that he enjoyed bartering as well. I ended up getting an almost 50% discount and left him as he was saying: Muchas gracias, guapa.

However, the instructions leave something to be desired. If you don´t like randomly pushing buttons for three minutes in order to figure out how the alarm works and/nor bartering then I suggest you don´t buy a watch in a flea market in a foreign city. I wanted to share these instructions with you as they are so hilarious I almost pee myself everytime I read them.

I´m sure this is what my Spanish must sound like to the locals...

Why you shouldn´t buy a watch in a foreign flea market:

*Insurance card

This product would be insuranced all functions well by our company, since you buy it within one year. If the product malfunction, our company would injust or repair it free.
But when the following conditions happened, you should pay the ray material fee.
-When you didn´t obey the pay attention matters lead to the product damage.
-Battary were used up and appearance scar, fade etc. You must show the insutance card when it repaired.
Date buyed:
the retail dealer´s seal:
(The card will effective after sealed by te retail dealer.)

*Pay Attention Matters

-Becatse the electron meter made by precise elctron spared, so you can´t dismantle sillfully, except appoint expert.
-It can´t be pushed button under water while you swimming.
-It must be repaired right now by the appoint expert while there have some water vapor.
-The electron meter can bear the generalshake. But it must avoid within strong collide. Strong shake. Used rudely and falled on the spolit place.
-It can´t be used in extremely hot or bitter cold weather.
-It can´t be washed in chemistry matters. Soap. Otherwise it will corroded the rubber sheet of the suface. So it only can be cleaned in sofy cloth.
-It can´t be carried in strong electric field and static electricity cytle etc.
-Lot electricity will be lossed if long using the cool light crystal.
-Cool light is not to be seen under sunlight.
-Error is +/- 40 seconds under the normal temperature between 5C-35C.

(I´m sure that somewhere the ´generalshake´ is a wicked dance move...)